Impulsive

Today I went to Aldi for the first time. I'm super cheap. I mean...you see how I make the most of my cafeteria runs. I am a sucker for a bargain. So when I have on my list to buy a sweet potato.....but the only sweet potatoes are in three pound bags....and the whole bag is just $1.99...well, Kittie does this:
Yep. I bought three GIANT sweet potatoes. For some reason I felt like getting the three huge ones instead of a bag with four normal sized potatoes. Who likes normal, anyway?

I went through all the isles in Aldi at least three times. I went through the cereal isle at least five times. I picked up every damned box of cereal trying to remind myself that I have like....eight...yes, eight types of cereal already. I didn't buy any cereal. No impulse buys at store one, check! [insane amounts of sweet potato don't count because it was on the list ;)]

I went to the dollar store next to it to pick up some boring things like sandwich bags. Here, I went through the cereal isle three times. Looking at every damned cereal again. Reminding myself that I don't need any cereal. I made it out with only items on the list...and these:
But Kittie don't you already have peanut butter pretzels? Why yes, if fact I don't have just a bag of them, I have a tub. Then why did you buy those? Because I saw them on KERF. That's the truth. I can't defend myself any more than that....
I can tell you that they're better....the ones I have consist of these hard, crumbly, dried pb innards and these seem to have real, creamy pb....

One impulse buy at second stop, not bad.

Next up was Kroger. What was the first thing I see when I walk in?
This.
Grab. Consider. Put back. Walk away. Walk back. Put in cart.
It was fine other than being a little smooshed. And they are usually $4.49, not $2.99 like it says. It just says that because they are on sale this week. One impulse buy at third stop.

Alright...so not too bad but now I have nine types of cereal....what to do?
Finish off a bag, durrrh.
The last of my Special K Protein Plus cereal with frozen blues, pecans, and almond milk.

As I step closer...

...you watch me grow.

So I totally forgot about this until Sept 2 but I reached my goal of 1,200 calories a day for the last 3/4 of August. Remember the rewards program? Wanna see what I got?
Oooh. What is it?
Look familiar?
Wait, does this help?
Yep. I've been wanting one of these for a long time so I ordered one before I left for college. It was delivered to my house about two weeks ago but I made sure not to wear it until I made the goal.
So here it is :)

I enjoyed some amazing overnight oats in my new T-shirt.

Look
What are those specks?
Quinoa!

Hellz to the yeah. In the mix:

• 1/2 c oat bran
• 1 T wheat Bran
• 1 t quinoa
• 1/2 mashed banana
• water
• 1/4 c frozen blue berries
• sweetener/spices
• Topped with some puffins:

Yumz. Breakfast yesterday was also amazing:

• 1 1/4c Kix
• 1/2c blackberry yogurt
• Honeydew, grapes, cantaloupe, banana
• Almond slivers

I swear there are Kix in there...
See?

Yesterday was actually full of amazingness as far as food goes. Lunch was random and rushed but it was delicious:
Kashi TLC crackers, hummus, laughing cow, apple, veggies.

My snack was another Dannon Greek yogurt. I think these are really good and really comparable to Fage. Yeah, it's my opinion but don't be like me and put off trying them because other people say they don't like them.
I mixed in some frozen blueberries and topped it with some sugar free syrup and pb pretzels.
Mmmm. pb pretzels.
I rinsed it down with this.
Whoops...

I had an amazing dinner. It was another microwave creation.

• A bed of brown rice
• Layer of spinach
• Broccoli, taken from the salad bar, steamed in microwave
• Squash, mushroom, onion, and zucchini taken from salad bar, steamed
• Marinara

What is is topped with?
Almond cheese (mozzarella style) and Nutritional Yeast.
With a lil Whole Wheat muffin on the side.

She's TI-NY. ugh.

*sigh*
That's what I heard a girl growl to another while looking at me across the yard the other day. They thought I couldn't hear their hateful comment. I could. I have hawk hearing from years of being a loner, listening across the room. It's self defense. A defense I never asked for...anyway.

Since I have been back at school at least five people have exclaimed "You've lost so much weight!" or "Kittie, is that you?! I didn't even recognize you!" One of these occasions was an entire table full of some old classmates. They all stared in astonishment saying "Oh my god, Kittie."

It makes me really uncomfortable when people do this but they aren't being mean so I just smile and say "yeah." But that girl said it so hatefully and I know exactly how she felt and the venom she was putting into her statement. I used to do it. I know.

Those girls...they used to and still do trigger me. Could I be a trigger? I mean...I feel like I need to lose more (of course I do, will it ever be enough?) But everyone just keeps on and on about it. My roommate said I look like I was going to break in half. I don't feel like I look like that...at all. But...maybe I do?

This had been brewing in my head for a few days. I've been back and forth, eating a little more some days and then I just restrict the next. Want to hear something ridiculous? ED Kittie is convinced that in the last three days she has developed a double chin. Thank you ED for making me retarded. How can I know these thoughts are crazy and still let them affect what I do?

For dinner last night I ate some soup they had at the cafe along with some whole grain muffins I brought from home.
I had a side salad as well but that isn't the earth shattering part. I ate this.
I ate it because I was a few hundred calories under my goal. 50 in chocolate can't hurt, right?
Wrong. Guilt. Tons of guilt seeping through me. "This is why you're getting that double chin, Kittie." WHAT FUCKING DOUBLE CHIN?! "Your pants don't fit, this is why." Yeah, they're two sizes too big, retard! "weren't they three sizes too big?" NO! They were the right size! "I doubt it.....fatty." SHUT. UP.

Dammit.

Breakfast was standard. Breakfast can be standard without any freak out because: 1. It is always the same calorie count, no matter the toppings, I work it out that way. 2. It's at the beginning of the day, empty stomach, blank slate. If I make it good, it's fine. and 3. I don't add sugar or fats other than nuts.
Banana oats and tea. I wish I could just pop out some waffles with syrup on a weekday but right now, that probably wouldn't be a good idea.
For lunch...I wasn't wanting anything. I was hungry but...that's where it ended. I grabbed a salad.
I topped it with Sun Chip crumbs.
I ate these peanut butter pretzels because....I figured I needed more than a bed of lettuce....

September, September: The month that eventually leads to October, November, and DECEMBER!

Alright. I'm a winterbug. I like sweaters, leggings, boots, apples, spices, root vegetables, you name it. Fall and winter were made for this snuggly kittie. I started my fall preparation early last night with a meal aimed at fall.
This entire plate was cooked in the microwave. This is how it broke down:

• Turnips, carrot, dried berries and rosemary, 1/4 in water, cooked on high for 20 minutes
• Instant brown rice cooked on high for 7 minutes
• Spinach cooked in water for 1 minute
• Egg whites cooked for 1 minute
• Vegetarian Hot Dog nuked for 45 seconds

No, the microwave is not my idea of fall but it is the general public's idea of college and college commences in fall so here we have the need for it's use. NO HOT PLATES! YOU WILL BE BURNED! (Seriously, I mean the building could burn down...)
Moving on, I have something to tell you about myself: I was raised by a neo-hippie. My mother is all new age and into that rigmarole. This means that I attended many, many hippie potlucks and festivals as a child. (To say this had nothing to do with my love of food would be a lie. [Do note that this is not why I am a vegetarian.]) But the flavors of this hippie food to me are very very fall-like. My favorite spice that I constantly forget is rosemary. Oh my god I love it but unlike cinnamon, I don't douse everything with it so it really is an extra treat.

This morning I arose, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready for fall to come.
I started my morning with 30 minutes of yoga.

If you haven't noticed, I live a few months in the future. All summer my eats have been Autumn inspired so I find it only natural that to start of September, I celebrate winter!
A. MA. ZING.
What this bowl had going for it:

• Cloves, lots of cloves.
• Craisins
• Clementine

You love me. This is why you love me.
Some of the clementines were cooked in:
Ohgod...let me eat that again...
Next up, Lunch:
I would like it to be noted that I do not always eat the whole contents of these boxes. In fact, I rarely will. They don't weigh them, you can take as much as you can stuff in there. So I fill it up every time and stock my mini fridge and fruit bowl...just to be clear (although I totally could eat all that.)
Another prepped sandwich, this time hummus and cheese. Hummus is another hippie food that I love.
I added the cucumber and tomato to the sandwich.
I ate the salad that featured raw zucchini and yellow squash! The salad bar is where they put everything they had too much of so it's always changing, I love it.
I had half of the fruit. The rest of the fruit, broccoli, half the zucchini and squash, onions, and the banana went into my stock.

This afternoon featured a very fall-time snack:
Start with the simple apple...then get a little crazy.
Oh yeah, I went there.
Complete insanity.

*waits for fall to actually begin*