23 October 2010


So if you noticed, there have been pictures of me on the blog recently-not just my food. This has been very difficult for me. I wanted to show you my experience at Kitt Peak but posting full body shots terrified me. I don't feel so horrible about myself right now but I am afraid of readers thinking I don't look like I struggle with eating. I didn't want anyone to say that I looked fine or even like I could loose a few.

Now, I realize this probably wouldn't happen. I have supportive readers. I still fear. I feel very insecure about my body as of late because I have been fluctuating between loosing and gaining for the past few months. I never gain a lot and then I turn around and loose it. I'm teetering on the healthy/underweight BMI point for me and I wish I could just stay right here but...I guess that's normal. People fluctuate.

Where I am going with this is that I have decided to start posting pictures of me on the blog as well as food. I want to post my favorite outfits, jewelry, makeup, ect. I am doing this to try and become comfortable with being seen.

When I go in public I hang my head. I either walk looking at the ground or straight ahead because I know someone is bound to look at me but I can't fathom seeing them do it. I'm terrified of it.

If I post things on here, the whole damned internet is capable of finding it. I'm letting them see me because there's nothing wrong with me. I don't need to be afraid.

I'm starting at the bottom.
My feet are clad in these mukluks that I got about five years ago at this little "emporium" in my home town. I am wearing black Mossimo jeggings from Target.
I love my Jeggings. I own three pairs: 1 black, 1 charcoal grey, 1 "denim" style.
That is my watch chain. Yes, I carry a pocket watch.
These have belt loops which I love. I pair them with my Betsy Johnson belt. (Vegan)
I have only one set of silly bandz, pictured here: the Wolverine pack. If any of you know of a Hello Kitty pack, I would also be interested.
My favorite bracelet. It was made by my friend's brother out of scrap leather. (Not Vegan ;]) And my tree of life ring.
Sometimes I wear glasses. They are red and Kittie-eyed. (get it?...Kittie-eyed)
And because this is about making big steps, no makeup: See? I can't even look at you....
Okay, I made myself.

Oh....you want food? Well fine. I guess I could do that for you ;)
Breakfast was 1/2c TJ's High Fiber cereal, 1/2 c Cascadian Farms Clifford Crunch, and the marshmallows out of some lucky charms I snagged from the cafe. With almond milk, as always.

I went on a picnic today.
I sat by the river.
I listened to The Killers (Sawdust) and read Philosophy.
You can see that I like Hello Kitty....
I had packed a cheese sandwich.
But my blood sugar was dropping and I was shaking uncontrollably. I quickly ate my fruit for sugar and ran to get some protein/sugar.
Peanut M&M's x2. Much better.

Then I went shopping and capped the afternoon off with some froyo.
I'm not one of those bloggers who pines over pumpkin pie EVERYTHING. No, no my friends. When you say "birthday cake" or "marshmallow" flavored then I got insane.
Pictured here:
  • Birthday Cake froyo
  • Vanilla froyo
  • Marshmallows
  • Caramel apple candy corn
  • Mochi
  • Boba
  • Strawberry
  • Kiwi

1 comment:

  1. you're just naturally beautiful! u can wear a lot of different fashions, hair styles, accessories, and u always look amazing! ur tattoos are GORGEOUS! i love when u do a post and in the pictures i can catch a glimpse of them. i think the key is my favorite- its really dainty on ur finger too <3

    im just imagining myself sitting by the river and how lovely it would be. and uve got ur music too to keep u company, thats lovely <3 <3