Mamma Don't Play

If you are Kittie and you miss your town's Fall Festival because you are away at school, you may call your mother and beg for kettle corn.

When you tell her "Get me like, a shit ton of it," you may not realize that 'shit ton' translates into 'lifetime supply' to momma.

But when you go to your mail box and open your package....
and find this....
You will look at it like this....
Then this....
And eventually accept your roll as the new owner of a two (...three?) pound bag of kettle corn....
Wholly crap that's a lotta kettle corn. So much that I apparently found it impossible to get the whole thing in a picture with me....
Of course I had to have some.
It was good but I must admit a bit of sadness and disappointment.....it's been to long since I've had food with...uh...flavor that the salty-sweetness I used to love so much actually hurt. Literally...the salt burned my tongue and the sweet burned my throat. This is a sad day...I've found I can only eat about five pieces at a time. I know that really isn't a bad thing since it isn't exactly a health food...but still.

I will be giving bags of it away though. Even if it didn't burn, one girl can't (or shouldn't unless she wishes a sugar coma) eat all of that before it goes stale. (Luckily kettle corn takes a while to go stale because it sort of preserves its freshness with its sugar coating....)

On a lighter note, sammiches have hit full force:
Fluffernutter (first-timer)
Pimento cheese (classic)
Sunbutter and jam (spin on a classic)

This pretty much represents the perfect lunch for me. You can tell that my idea of a perfect lunch was defined by years of taking a bag lunch to school but basically, here are the components:

• Sandwich - Should not be messy, not too many components. Ideal makings include: peanut butter/jelly, pimento cheese, cheese/mayo.
• Something Crunchy - My favorites are as follows: Pretzels, Wheat Thins, Goldfish (preferably Ranch or Cheddar Blasted but Cheddar is always a reliable standby), Cheetos (crunchy, Flamin' Hot or Jalapeno, once again-original works too), Doritos (Nacho cheese or Spicy Sweet [fun fact: these are the only vegan Doritos flavor (or were as of 2008 when I was vegan)]).
• Veggies - The crunchy, portable, slice-able, dip-able sorts (My favorites are carrots. Celery, bell peppers, and cucumbers are also great.)
• Fruit - Okay, apple. Apple is your only choice because I make the rules. Sorry.
• Drink - Any drink. Bottles are better than cans in case you don't finish (I never do).

So...it feels really good to eat what I want. The funny thing is...what I want really isn't that bad. Yeah, Cheetos and Doritos are not health foods and I know others may judge me for liking them but I haven't bought them yet and when I do (because I will) I'm not going to feel bad about eating one serving every couple days. I just have to get to a point where I can show you without being ashamed. I'm still ashamed for putting that cookie on the blog even though I'm proud of myself for eating it. (explain that?)