26 October 2010


What have I been up to lately?
I had Mexican food last Friday for the first time in...who the hell knows when.
Man-hand + chips + salsa + guacamole.
I got the veggie fajitas
I made one fajita and had a little under half the veggies.
Leftovers for Kittie. I try not to order things if I know there is no way I'll finish them or even come close but everything else vegetarian was slathered in cheese....and also very large portions....but I always eat my leftovers. I don't have a problem with leftovers.

Well....in my town today there was (is) a tornado warning. My Public Speaking class was interrupted by the sirens. We had to go to the basement where we sat in the hallways and she continued class.

I've been having anxiety attacks again and this isn't helping.
Why are you having anxiety attacks?
Since I actually have panic attacks that are seemingly uncaused by anything direct, I can't be positive.

I do know that I feel a definite lack of control. I feel like I'm loosing control of both my grades and my weight/eating. In reality I have all A's and B+'s and I've actually lost a few pounds (not that I tried to. I'm sort of confused on this one, I'm eating way more than I am used to because I'm trying to maintain and I'm loosing??...) Control has always been a huge issue with me. If I feel like I'm out of control it's like I'm slipping. My chest is tightening all day as if I am literally falling off a mountain. Imagine the shock of fear and pain you feel in your chest when you realize you are about to trip down the stairs. Now apply that to all day. That's how I feel.

I have also been sick for about a week now.
I am taking my usual vitamin C and a bit extra in the form of drink tablets and I think it's helping.
I just have to keep eating soup.
And drinking tea.
And eating cereal because apparently it's my favorite breakfast food. (we never ate breakfast when i was a kid so I'm just now discovering it....as a meal and what foods I like.)

1 comment:

  1. I feel the same way too...the falling off the mountain thing. It sucks.

    But I love Chips and Salsa.