14 August 2010

Safe

Safe? What is it? I have safe foods. I have non foods. What is a non food? It's a name I coined when I realized that there are foods I have gone without eating and avoided for so long that I now do not see them as food. They are the plastic flowers on the table. I just don't even think about them. On the list? Meat has been a non food for a very long time but that is because I see it as inedible and disgusting. The same with milk. Pasta is the biggest. White flour and white sugar. (not a bad habit, really.) Oil. These things I just don't see as food. Well, today I did something pretty cool:
Look at that! White bread flour was used to make those crumpets. I ate it and I didn't even die. Oh, and the jam is half my home made jam which I did make the old fashioned way (after going over and over recipes that used no sugar or splenda) with real sugar. The other blob is Crofter's.

And I did something else. I combined a protein and a carb. "Well that's just sensible." Maybe for some people but I make myself choose. I can't have both. Well you know what? I did! take that mind! You're welcome body. There's also cheese. Yes, it's American cheese but I don't like "real" cheese at all. And yeah, it's egg whites but we're gettin' there.

Do I feel bad? Well my mind is a little frantic but my body (and my tummy and my taste buds) seem to be happy about it.

Have you ever thought to yourself, "I wonder how many tea bags Kittie goes through in a day"? No? Well, I think you should.
Yesterday's tea bag mountain. 4 green tea bags. 2 jasmine tea bags, 2 orange green tea bags. That's a lot of green tea for me, actually. Usually black tea is my jam.

Yesterday I had a veggie wrap:
It was really great but these okra things that I found at the Asian market....
not so great. Why not? Well, they tasted like swallowing a sachet of green tea leaves. How do I know what this is like? In middle school I used to swallow a sachet of green tea every night to speed up my metabolism and scrape down any food from my insides so it wouldn't stick and take more calories. I have no clue where that idea came from but I do recall it was pretty wretched. I threw them away. I love okra but that was just...ugh.

I went to the grocery store and then Target where I found these!!!!!!!!!!!!:
OMG OMG OMG WOLVIE! Love you Logan!!! SNIKTT! I swear I almost died when I found that one. Just the "T!" was visible and I said "Does that say SNIKT?!!!!" Yes, yes it does. I love Wolverine like nobody's business. Actually, one of my rewards in the rewards system I made is the hardback Wolverine Origins comic.

When I got back I had this snack.
Let's talk about this snack. It was two kinds of cereal, frozen blueberries, and almond milk. Why is it special? Because I went out of my safe zone. I used bags of cereal, not pre packaged bars AND it filled me up so well that I didn't even think about food until dinner.

Dinner was sort of safe. It was really really good and honestly pretty balanced but I did use yam noodles instead of soba or something like that. Baby steps. Pasta/noodles=still a non food. We'll work on that later.
Broccoli, eggplant, bell pepper, onion, garlic/soy marinated tofu, yam noodles in a splash of soy and chili sauce. It was spicy. Yum.

2 comments:

  1. I used to have so many odd rules and fears that, looking back now, I honestly have a hard time believing I ever listened to them... they didn't make a lick of sense, but I treated them like a life or death thing back then. Now, I can't help but laugh at all of the strange things I did. You'll get there too, girl, just keep challenging yourself.

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  2. haha the tower of tea bags!
    u bring up a good point with those white flour crumpets... i hadnt thought of white flour as a food substence or had any value in any diet. white flour is always coined as EVIL and i kind of put the idea of ever having it on the backburner. when i had a sandwich a week ago it was made with white flour and i really enjoyed it. i suprised myself by challenging my thoughts about "the white stuff" and letting it be okay- liek you said, u wont die. even tho i prefer the taste and healthful nutrients in 100% whol grain or whole wheat, i think its important to let ourselves challenge conceptions of certain foods that we have fear or concern over, sort of to say "hey, food is food, no biggie"

    xoxo <3

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